I literally just found my journal and I wrote something in it that I wanted to post here. Weird, because I never post anything personal anymore, but here it goes….
“I want to write down my feelings. It is April 29, 2012. 2 years have almost passed since Ive wrote anywhere in this thing. I am a better person than I once was. I have loved and I have lost and I have experienced what it feels like to be alone, because of this I have learned that I do not need anyone but myself to be happy. I am content with life and I am excited to see what awaits me in years to come. Right now I feel nostalgic looking through this old journal but I’ll be fine. I was happy when I last wrote in this 2 years ago and I am happy now, so that’s good. It’s funny how things work out.”
Okay so I didn’t want to make a post about this because I didn’t want to seem like I was bragging and stuff, but a couple of people wanted me to help them out and i was going to personally reply to them in their ask boxes but I didn’t know Tumblr added a character limit now in ask boxes. Fuck you Tumblr k.
Anyways……
In the last year I have gone through tremendous body changes.
One day when I was really depressed (lol) I decided, that I wanted to do something to keep my mind off all the horrible things that were going on with me. I made it a promise to myself that I was going to lose weight and that I was going to go through with it until I saw change and that I wasn’t going to just run for a week and then stop. No, I was going to go through with it no matter how many times I wanted to give up.
I ran every single day of summer last year. In the hot scorching sun, got 50 shades blacker, and never gave up. I ran about a mile everyday, til i progressed to 2 miles, then 3 miles, and so forth. I gave up all the horrible fast food, although now I occasionally cheat and eat a couple of things I’m not supposed to. (YOLO,…jk.) I never drank soda, ever. Drank a great and generous amount of water, and just kept running,…every single day.
Now if you’re one of those people who always has a hectic schedule and can’t really exercise everyday, I would try working out twice a week at the least, and working out 4 days out of the week at the most, all for at least 1 hour. You can do all sorts of things. For me, personally, I lost all my weight running. Investing in a gym membership is also great too. But if you don’t have that kind of money, I would suggest running, on a track, around your block, or also hiking! I would also recommend working out with a friend for motivation because it really helps.
I ate 50x’s better than I used to. I was never on any sort of crazy diet, because i honestly feel like diets don’t work. If i ever wanted to go out and eat, I stayed far away from foods like Mc Donalds, Burger King, and any other fast food chain. I would eat things like Chipotle, and although it’s not necessarily “healthy” it was a better alternative.
Okay so getting to the point here, losing weight is possible. So if you think you’re one of those people who can never lose weight, you’re wrong, YOU CAN. All it takes is dedication and determination. You have to want to lose weight, and you have to want to work out. Also, losing weight takes time, so don’t be discouraged when you’ve worked out for 2 weeks and don’t see any change. Losing weight will not happen over night. It took me nearly a whole year to get to where I am now. Just be patient!
I think the key to losing weight, is EXERCISE and EATING RIGHT. Just because you work out 5 days out of the week doesn’t mean you can eat horrible and expect to lose weight. You also can’t eat “healthy” and not work out at all, and also expect to lose weight. It doesn’t work that way. Eating and exercising is KEY. I recommend when eating at home, to have a good sense of portion control, and hardly eat seconds of anything! Always eat a good breakfast, and never miss breakfast ever! Eating in the morning is great because thats when your body’s metabolism works the fastest. Also, I HIGHLY recommend NOT to starve yourself, please lose weight the right way ):
Sorry if my thoughts seem all jumbled up, I’m trying to make sense here lol. I really hoped I helped and inspired a couple of people. In no way am I trying to make myself seem like I’m some health and diet expert, I’m just a girl that wanted to lose weight okay…. I also feel like a dummy for not taking a “before” picture, because honestly, I didn’t believe that I was going to lose any of the weight, but i managed to have a couple of old pictures before my weight-loss. Hope i really helped some of you and if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to send me a message, Good luck and don’t give up (:
Before weight: 145
After weight: 116
you can’t really tell, or well the quality of the picture is kind of sucky, but i tried nail marbling for the first time and it looks really kewl ^.^
Happy Birthday to the woman who gave me life. I love you more than life itself. <3
One,… If I could,… I would nail these hands to the edges of stars. I would sacrifice this body to the sky hoping to resurrect as someone spiteful enough to not give a fuck about you.
Two… Staple me to a cross. Pierce my side with a broken promise and I will bleed of all the crippled reasons why you deserve one more chance.
Three… Your bed smells like the last thing I was really good at.
Four… You wanna know how I got these scars? I ripped every last piece of you out of my smile.
Five, I whispered you stardust.
Six, I spoke you into sunflowers.
Seven, I dipped my hands in forever, touched you infinity. Treated you as if you were the last molecule of oxygen inside of a gas chamber. I was good to you.
Eight…. You wanna know how I got these scars? I swallowed my pride, and then it clawed it’s way out of my mouth.
Nine,… I realized that I was never really your boyfriend. I was just your fucking height man.
Ten,.. I hope your next boyfriend gets small pox.
Ten, Yes I said small pox!
TEN, I HATE YOU!
TEN, I MISS YOU!
TEN, I LOVE YOU!
TEN, IT’S HARD FOR ME TO COUNT WHEN I GET EMOTIONAL!
Ten, I heard that 90% of human interaction is nonverbal, so……..
Ten, if I could I would tie your arms to a daydream and then auction you off to my fondest memories.
See I wrote this poem in my own spinal fluid. I put it on the backbone of a white flag so before you read it you’ll already know that I’ve given up, I’ll just keep you here……shackled up to the most important chapter of my life so repressed into the basement of my eyelids like liquid salvation so I remember you beautiful. With amazing underneath your wings, and an orchid smile, you gorgeous earthquake. You cracked hourglass, with sand spilling from behind your ribs, you wasted my time.
How dare you linger on my lips, then kiss me like a stuttering apology, with excuses stapled to the roof of your mouth.
I still remember you like a dream, tattooed to the inner walls of my long-term memory. But some days I wonder if you existed at all…..
And of course…
You wanna know how I got these scars?….
Well fine…..
I’ll tell you….
I got these scars the day that I fell in love with you….
I landed face first.
I need change in my life. I’m the kind of person who dislikes drastic changes, but my life is really sucking right now, or well certain aspects of my life are sucking and I feel like if I don’t change my outlook, my life is going to continue sucking. I bought a small journal today. Just to fill it up with quotes and things that make me breathe easier. I also just purchased Eat, Pray, Love so I’m really excited about reading it. I just need something to help me, to make me feel like, “life will get better” you know? Like my life’s not over just because one bad thing has happened. I want to be healthy, and feel healthy and not a pessimistic mess. I want to be a positive thinker. I’ve always been one to weigh the negatives out before the positives. I’m not sure if that’s bad, I guess I just thought I was being realistic, and I guess in a way, I don’t want to expect too much and in the end get left with nothing. I don’t want to be a naïve positive thinker, as in thinking that best will always happen when I think positive. That nothing can bring me no harm just because I think positive. I just want to be happy, honestly. Because right now I’m not. I guess I just want to start off brand new with a couple of things in my life. I hope that I can go through with the changes in my life, and it makes me a better and happier person.
